Ian Brown – Little Seed Big Tree

Being from Manchester is pretty good. I don’t subscribe to the idea that it’s “the best city on earth” like some Mancunians but generally it’s a great city that feels largely independent and self-sufficient, harbouring a burgeoning community of artists, musicians and bands that give the city much of its reputation. But lately, some of our bigger exports are giving the rest of us a bad name.

You’d expect it from Morrisey, indie-darling-cum-bigoted-vegan. You’d expect it from Noel Gallagher, a man arrogant enough to believe he’s still relevant. Hell, I’d even give Bez a pass on this one, because his brain is probably mush, but he’s too busy with his bees to worry about conspiracy theories.

But Ian, you’re better than this. We expected better of you Ian. We know you’ve always been a little bit paranoid, a little bit David Icke, but you gave us tunes like “Corpses…” Ian, tunes like “F.E.A.R”. Where’s that narcotic wooziness of the former? The frenetic dystopia of the latter? It’s gone Ian. You’ve killed it. And you’re close to killing you’re credibility.

When the music was good, we could turn a blind eye to the paranoia in the lyrics Ian. But now the music isn’t good. And nor are the lyrics. This is a music GCSE composition Ian, composed under the influence of Noam Chomsky and some particularly plasticky hash. Four chords and a Line Six amplifier acting as the backbone for a track that doesn’t just need fleshing out but could do with a complete skeleton.

Where did it all go wrong Ian? What have you done for people to encourage you to release such a single? Was it the hair Ian? Were you bitter because the barbers were shut and need someone to blame? You were one of the good ones Ian, up there with Tim Burgess and Guy Garvey. You still can be Ian, just give John Squires a bell. Please?

Tinfoil bucket hats aren’t a good look.